Two are needed to form any relationship. Depending on the dynamics and quality of any relationship, both individuals have a role to play in the success or failure of a relationship. Just because a relationship fails, it does not mean one has failed as a human being. If this were the case, most if not all of us would be deemed "failures" because we have all had at least more than one relationship throughout our lives. Abused women need to know when to surrender to "trying to make it work" and let it go. You can't change someone who does not want to change. Some men have been referred to as "dogs" for derogatory reasons. To be honest with you, one has a better chance of training an abusive canine, than they do with an abusive human being.
Women have to be more selective with the partners they are seeking. One has to take a personal inventory of them self before they truly know what they are looking for. Too many women "settle" repeatedly because they believe they cannot get any better. Furthermore, too many women stay in abusive relationships because they truly believe this as good as it gets? In my book Women Want What They Can't Have, I discuss the various types of lovers and the reasons we choose the types of lovers we do. Also, I delve into the who misconception of "change" and how so many women instinctually operate on this principle they can "fix" people (men) and make everything better.

I would be labeled a chauvinist if I didn't include that there are just as many males out there looking for the "perfect woman" to fill the void in their lives. Everyone wants to be in a relationship. Since we are social creatures, we need to be around people. Sometimes, men pick the wrong types of women repeatedly because they lack the emotional connection with their own mothers and they are seeking a woman to fulfill that void. Others are looking for "younger" woman to make them feel young again. While others, who are already in a relationship can't understand why they are always looking or hanging around strip clubs more than they should be. Men experience problems too in their own perceptions of relationships and how they should be. There are many men who fall into the same repetitious patterns for selecting the same types of partners which are destined to fail.


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